Thursday, December 25, 2008

Merry Christmas everyone

Whilst the world goes crazy in the shops, my food has been growing for the last few weeks, lovingly placed by the radiator and by the window in daytime so i had a lovely selection of weeds, it took me hours to eat but it was lovely and I didn't need gravy. perfect day a morning in the bath (because I am clever and can drink through my legs :oP )an exquisite lunch, there was even a present fo rme under the tree, the excitment I nearly jumped out of my shell, asleep by 5pm, all tucked in.

Happy Christmas :o)

Just in case anyone is worried about me having a beard, the effects were put on after the photo wa staken, after 6 months later, I didn't come to any harm, I didn't wear a Santa hat either

Monday, December 15, 2008

My own holiday home

It was meant to be for Christmas but... I look so cute I got it the same day it was bought, my very own woodland lodge... it terrified me, seriously I walked around for hours trying to avoid it, then... it was bedtime, my beloved cardboard box was GONE imagine my distress, so she went & got it again, in time I have come to love my new home, it even has a window, just took a bit of getting used to. As I grow the door may need to be widened, how offensive is that??? Wide, me?

Pics to follow...

Friday, October 17, 2008

Happy Birthday me

How much excitement can I handle??? It's my birthday today I AM 2, I got cards which of course are put up for me to see and a present AND a cake, guess how many candles there were... 2 yellow due to them not knowing for sure I am a boy, to find out for sure they'd need to have me x-rayed but they think that's a bit mean just to satisfy curiousity, I'll stick with Mr for now

A picture of my grand cake, from Marks & Spencers no expense spared! No I didn't eat any, and it was past my bedtime at 5.30pm when they lit the candles.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Monday, June 16, 2008

An update

My outdoor garden is developing well, I favour eating the dandelions but as yet I outstrip supply, apparently more seeds are on the way - I hope they grow fast.

More exciting news, I got told off, oh I felt so naughty & a little embarrassed, I had a poo in my bedroom. My toilet habits leave a lot to be desired. On Saturday when I was in the bath I had an almighty weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, it jetted across the bath - I was so proud - they were astonished by the way I bring my head in & propel the wee out! Oh & followed by a poo, they talked about what else I could do for hat trick? What more could I do?

I am in love with Heather, she is lovely, I like to cuddle up to her, occasionally under her & the other day I actually climbed all over her so I could eat a pansy flower, it was a purple one. I may add another photo, do you think I have grown?

I have been enjoying the hotter weather, a nice chance to explore & munch away for a few hours oh & spend time with Heather of course.

Pics will have to wait for another day...

Friday, April 25, 2008

Gym'll fix it

I was walking today on my express little legs, I tried the wooden floor too, a bit like skating apparently, I thought I'd need wheels to skate. I was put back into my village when trying to dig into the carpet, well if I don't try I will never know. On my walk I came across these dumbells, I could impress everyone with my muscley arms...

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Name calling

Another sunny day, well I was out in th egarden & discovered these amazing leaves, I sat chomping them in the sun, perect, then the name calling started, I just kept hearing it, really there is no need to call me a Pansy

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

A letter for me

It's exciting AND It's true, I got a letter addressed to Mr/Mrs Tortoise, it was even in an envelope, how exciting, I have been trying to read it, I figured following the words with my feet would help, well I don't have fingers and my claws are quite sharp

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Party eve

Today apparently is birthday party eve, tomorrow more of the little people arrive for a party, all I can say is I hope it's not at my nap time, or if it is that they are quiet, I'm sure they will be...

Well today, I have been rock climbing whilst they marvelled at my agility, the little people have been home more & it's lovely to listen to them talk to me, I get to find out all sorts, they also ask questions, I am talking back in shell language. I thought I'd make it outside today, but no, maybe tomorrow, the grass has been cut so I should be easier to find, I love hide & seek.

For those following my bowel movements, yes it happened today, then I sat in it, they seem to complain, they just have no idea of how to live.

Shocking, no pictures today, I know, I feel abandoned too.

As my secretary writes I am burrowing down, tucking myself in for the night with my duvet, well hemp.

Monday, April 14, 2008


I got up full of energy at 8.15, yes I like these quarter past an hour type times, I wondered if I could tempt them away from the zoo but no, I got my food incredibly early, I bet she makes me walk more on other days for that, it was virtually breakfast in bed! They said bye to me so many times I wondered if they'd change their minds & take me with them, but no, off they went to my day of quiet, I munched on some lettuce, thought of being on Jeremy Kyle with episode titles like "I need to come out of my shell!" "Which tortoise is my father?" Slept between munching on lettuce. They got back years, OK hours later moaning about being tired, honestly all they did was walk around & look at a few animals. There was a a giant tortoise living with some smaller ones, apparently like the one they looked into buying until they realised how big they grow! Lucky for me I guess unless there was another owner waiting with a two floored tortoise village for me maybe with a lift for my lazy days?

The most shocking news of today, no pictures were taken of me, they have a photo of gorillas, tigers, lions a million monkeys, sea lions, other tortoise but none of me. I have enclosed a picture of "The others"

A picture of the giant tortoise, apparently not as cute as me :o)

Sunday, April 13, 2008

They can be so fussy

The scary ghost

My plastic smelling friend

You wouldn't believe the time I got up this morning - 9.16 and it's not even a food day, I came out of my house doorway, that always gets them, makes it look like I have a gigantic shell on my back! I wanted the warmth of my sun lamp, clever thing, doesn't move like the real sun but provides light & warmth, what more could I ask for? So she went out on her own, the others went out later, then they came back so I had a walk round, need to keep them entertained. I now look at them when they talk to me, they are so easy to impress, they spent ages today talking about whether I had ears & if so where are they, honestly the questions they come up with. Thankfully I have googled some info for them
Although these may not be obvious, tortoises do have ears. Look along outside of-the neck on each side of the head; there should be two dark circular markings. These should be smooth - any lumps or swellings could indicate an ear abscess." from so that should answer that one, who ever heard of a tortoise with no ears?????

I had a great time climbing over my rocks, all of them, I walked & walked, I had a wee as well, they marvelled at my movement beforehand, honestly can I have no privacy? So given my wee was in my village, they had a great idea to put me on the carpet (due to be replaced soon) It was lovely they all lay down to talk to me, I walked & walked, I met a friend, don't know what that was, smelt a bit like plastic. I walked a bit more, then suddenly a shout "The poo is coming out!" She thought they were joking until someone else said "Really it's coming out, do something!" So I flew back into my village so my poo is there should I decide to eat it, highly unlikely I think but the thought is there. I was glad to get back in there really, didn't like to say but I think their carpet is haunted wherever I walked I was being followed by this dark ghost like creature they kept talking about the cute shadow so maybe they are used to the ghost? Look carefully at the pics, you can see the scary ghost, kind of tortoiseish shaped. So much to learn about these people. I went to bed a bit earlier tonight, had to after my expedition & the poo.

Before my secretary finishes for the night, you will never ever guess where they are going tomorrow, I could hardly believe my ears (because I DO have ears) the zoo, they have me at home to watch all day & they decide to spend their time watching some bigger things wandering round and pay to see them, crazy! Bad news too they want more pets namely a flamingo and a giraffe have been mentioned well as long as they don't want to share my village.

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Bath day

Well today didn't go as expected, I woke up about 10.15 which is kind of early for me, I crawled out from under the side of my house instead of using the door, well doors are so predictable. I sat in the sun rays for a short time then went on a walk, I went through the tunnel, over the rocks (I became a little attached to one particular rock for a while) I walked here & there, no food to be found, I kept hearing mention of bath but no water appeared. I had a short sleep in the midday sun then when I woke I shortly flew over to my bath. I know what you are thinking tortoise do not fly, but she says I do & I sure do move fast to get to my bath, no legs used, I do appear to fly, maybe that is why she thinks I am so amazing! I spent about 30 minutes in the bath, walking around, like most people probably do, then I flew back to my stone, the big one on the corner where I waved my legs around to make a snow tortoise kind of shape, then I nibbled on some lettuce, that smore my kind of thing. Oh there were some of those seedling things she has been growing, nice to have a bit of variety. Whilst she waved a paintbrush around I had a lovely afternoon snooze in the sun lamp, lovely, woke up for more lettuce, was munching away when it went dark so I went to bed, through the door, they gathered to watch me saying how clever I was. I was making a sharp exit really because Doctor Who was on, terrifying images, I may have nightmares... In fact my nightmare started earlier when she took a picture of me in the bath, no towel, nothing just me relaxing, notice the blushing...

Friday, April 11, 2008

A quiet day

I have spent a quiet day in my shell, there was a stranger here sticking pieces of paper on the wall for hours, everyone else went out, it was just me and him, scary! When she came back she seemed very enthusiastic about this paper stuff, she paid him then he left. it was just plain paper not a tortoise in sight, boring if you ask me not to mention strange. I almost forgot the strange smell, didn't like to mention it at the time but whatever was in that pot he spread it over the ceilings.

Tomorrow is bath day, yippeeeeeeeee, also I think I'll be weighed, kind of like weightwatchers for tortoise, my weights gets plotted on the graph. I need to be weighed at the same time each week but hopefully I wont have lost weight or she'll worry I don't know how much I'll have gained, I had rather a lot of lettuce the other day, then I went back for another leaf, I just couldn't resist, wonder if that will show on the scales? I hope there is a meeting afterwards where we can swop lettuce recipes. Talking of recipes, apparently some seeds have been planted for me, it's not lettuce, they have been growing rather slowly, she was tempted to put it under my heat lamp but didn't want to look like a cannabis farm, she is fussy. An ingenious plan was to put 2 lots of seeds in one pot, a different one in each half, her famous last words were I'll remember which are which, half have grown, absolutley nothing from the other side of the pot so that meal is kind of a surprise cos she can't remember which side were which seeds, maybe it's me Sunday lunch. I'll keep you informed.

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

The Great Escape

She made me a temporary enclosure in the garden..., I made a run for it... This was after the my mad half hour, I went through my tunnel 3 times, over my rocks, had a poo then wiped my bum on the side of my bowl & some watercress, perfect!

Sunday, April 6, 2008


My day today was just so tiring, I yawned twice!

Friday, April 4, 2008


Today I have a mixture of water cress & Organic romaine lettuce, sprinkled with a little Nutrobal just to make sure I am getting enough calcium, I got up late this morning, had a wander round, then waited for lunch, when it arrived I thought it was so yummy I would sit in it! Then I went back to bed, I got up about 6pm for more lettuce, what a frightening experience the leaf was so big each time I bit into it it came down over my head so fast I retreated into my shell, lettuce can be so scary sometimes.

Attached pic, if you look carefully my mouth is open, thats one of about 50 pics taken of me today, she is obsessed!

Tomorrow is bath day, full of toys & bubbles, well no, but it's nice anyway.

Thursday, April 3, 2008


Imagine this,

You fall asleep in the warmth of the sun, the sun goes off with a click of a switch in your half awake, mainly alseep state you try & make it to bed but instead end up trying to get under a tunnel (made from an empty big toblerone tube) you are digging away wondering why you can't get in. When a big hand reaches in, lifts you up, tucks you in & puts the box on top of you.

I want to be a tortoise.

Disaster struck today, he had a piece of hemp, like straw in his eye, he couldn't open one eye so I went to remove it but caught his little head, scared him & he vanished SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO fast into his little shell. I kept saying sorry but he took a while to come out, then when he did I got the piece out of his eye, phew what a relief!

I talk to him, tell him when I am going out, when I'll be back etc, I love having him here to talk to.

Friday, March 21, 2008

A new arrival

After much saving, ebaying, and a bit of begging, our tortoise is here, he is just so cute, he travelled home in a box with hemp in, we peeped inside at each oppurtunity. He is settling in well, he had a little bath, a drink & a walk around his new home. He is just so cute.